Marriage Counseling After Your Divorce: Why This Isn't As Weird As It Sounds

Before you became a divorce(e), you probably tried marriage counseling with your spouse. When it did not work, you got a divorce. Now that you are divorced with children, you still have to contend with many of the same issues that caused the divorce so that your children can still get the benefit of having two parents in their lives. When you and your ex are truly frustrated by these problems, you may still need to go to marriage counseling and family counseling so that you can work out some of the short-term issues that prevent you both from being good parents. There are several other reasons why going to a marriage counselor after a divorce is not as weird as it sounds.

Money Issues Before and After the Divorce

Money causes many couples to split. Either there is not enough to support the family, or there is enough but one or both adults in the marriage spends too much, or they cannot communicate about purchases and decisions to spend. It is not uncommon after a divorce for these issues to continue, especially if one parent is ordered to pay child support to the other. The fights surrounding money will undoubtedly continue until both of you can arrive at a plan of action with counselor or make decisions that best benefit the children. Sometimes it takes a couple of years in post-divorce counseling before couples have effectively acquired the skills to talk about money and manage it without it erupting into a fight.

Splitting Child Responsibilities Before and After the Divorce

Court orders may dictate when and where children reside, but the numerous other daily responsibilities involved with raising children still require the same give and take and good communication skills that should have been present in your marriage. If you are having difficulties splitting those responsibilities or communicating effectively with regards to the children, you may need to see a marriage counselor and/or a family counselor all over again. The counselor can help you work through these issues and develop a course of action that helps both you and your ex work together on responsibilities related to the children.

Learning Not to Fight or Misbehave in Front of the Kids

A divorce can cause some very bitter and unpleasant feelings between you and your ex. You may be tempted to voice these issues around or to your children, which is not healthy. Fighting with your ex around the kids is never good either. Even if you cannot get your ex to agree to "marriage" counseling after the divorce, you and your children can still see a family counselor, like Associates For Counseling & Psychotherapy, and individual therapists to help resolve these lingering emotional issues.